Cleaning the House Before the Kids Come Home

It is the Christmas season and (some of) the kids are coming home for various amounts of time, some for a few hours, some for a few days. I find myself wondering why it's so important to me that the house is relatively clean, the beds have fresh sheets on them, and the refrigerators are well-stocked with their favorite drinks and foodstuffs. These are my children, after all, not long-lost family members who I want to impress, not old friends that may scrutinize my skills as a homemaker. These are my children, the ones who used to make all the messes, the ones who are now full-grown with their own homes and apartments. They've seen their childhood home in a state of disarray many, many times---it's not as if they would find it disturbing or unusual. Why do I care so much? For some reason, this is a question that I feel I need to analyze.

Is it because I want them to see that, while I HAVE aged in their absence, I haven't lost my standards, and that I'm still ABLE to take care of our place and that I still WANT to take care of our place? (They don't have to worry about their mama.......yet). Or is it my way of ensuring to them that, as they deal with the daily grinds of the real world, there is a certain constancy that they can depend on, that they can derive security from, that this house is still a 'safe haven', that nothing much has really changed, that they can still find comfort in 'home sweet home'? Or maybe I want them to FEEL like guests, sending them the subliminal message that they are here very temporarily, and 'don't you forget it!" (their father and I do not believe in the boomerang concept---boomer children coming back home to live----what a ghastly thought!). Or maybe the subconscious message to them is, "You walked in this door and things were neat and tidy, so make sure it still looks like this on your way out!"


As I bustle around, mulling it all over in my mind, I find that all of the above is probably true......but that, really, I vacuum the rugs, carefully put up the Christmas decorations, wash the sheets, shop for groceries at three different places, fluff the pillows, wipe down the bathroom counters, peek into each room for a final inspection----I do all that because this is an EVENT, a CELEBRATION----the family is coming together, and for at least a few hours or a few days, I can revel in the joy that I feel as I watch them and interact with them (and their own children),......this is an event, no this is THE EVENT....The Kids are Coming Home.